How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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