One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
