THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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