you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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