My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
