around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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