Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
