Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
