somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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