Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
