Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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