alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
cat food counts as protein by the way
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
