My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
