i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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