i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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