That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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