Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What did we do last night that was yellow?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
