i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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