Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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