is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
