I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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