Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
