I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
