Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
