So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
