don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
