is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you inspire me to be a worse person
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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