Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
