Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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