My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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