So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
