I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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