He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
