I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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