so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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