You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
