the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
