My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
