Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think people are normalizing furries
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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