I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
