I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
