I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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