i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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