next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
