At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
