You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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