Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
