She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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