Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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