...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
